Age of the God Towers

A Barbarians Pre-Funk


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Cheers and curses spewed from frothy toothless mouths. A circle of dingy crowd members surround the two oily bodies sparring for dominance and coin. The loose soil from the ground they fought on soaked up sweat and blood. It was impossible to claim the who’s the blood splatter on the dirt belonged to.

Coin exchanged hands with the ebb and flow of every punch, kick, or grappled hold. The crowd exploded as the heavily tattooed brawler got the upper hand on the challenger. He had a fistful of wild golden locks in his left hand. He twisted her head to make her body open and vulnerable to attack. With a powerful hurl of his fist, he landed it square on the bridge of her nose. Blood splashed in a violent display of gore and snot.

That is what you get for not guarding you fucking idiot! The challenger thought to herself as she saw white from the pain. She brought her forearms to her face as the brawler brought down another heavy hit. Take this loser down. The crowd is yours, she thought to herself. She hoped his focus on her upper body would leave his lower half unguarded. She lifted her foot and it smashed down on the side of his knee. A loud popping sound rang above the cheers followed by the wet mulching sounds of the brawlers screams.

She could feel her weight shift to the ground as he fell. He won’t quit. Oh this is going to be great. Their bodies landed with an earth shaking thud. He had her thick neck between his meaty hands. As the pressure of his hold increased, her vision became spotted. With all her strength, she relentlessly kicked his now shattered knee until the pain was too much and he released her. As Saundraudiga gasped and coughed for air, she crawled on top of the brawler and rained down her calloused rock hard fits on his face untill he fought no more.

She stood victorious and felt the pulse of the room lulled as their realization sunk in. They witnessed their champion brought down by an outsider. Yellowish bloodshot eyes shot back and forth searching for someone to tell them how to act. Just when Saundraudiga thought about how lovely it would be to fight this whole room, an old gaunt woman with spider webbed hair and no eyes shouted in glee and the whole room broke out in drunken jubilee despite most of them losing their bets.

The old woman approached the mountainous woman. She lowered her eye-less face to the ground and uttered a series of grunts and hisses. Green light glimmered from her hands and touched the new champion. Light spread throughout the barbarians body. The swolleness of her black eye deflated, the flesh of her broken nose weaved together like a fine tapestry of pink skin, and her nose made an inhuman jerking motion as the magic cracked the cartilage back in place. She inhaled sharply, “OW! I told you that hurts!” Sandraudiga snapped.

The blind old witch smiled her gummy smile while she patted Sandraudiga’s hand lovingly. Shuffled her brittle body over to the unconscious man on the ground. With the same magic, she glued the bones and ligaments of his knee together. His face looked less and less like a bag of purple meat and more like the tattooed man he was.

He woke startled to a roaring crowd. Like a child out of a nightmare, he checked his body for the wounds he was sure he endured. But could not find any. “HA HA! What a great fight my friend!” Sandraudiga shouted over the commotion. He winced as her voice because his head to beat with pain, “We are not friends!” he spat.

Sandraudiga smiled and extended her hand, “Maybe not, but I’m sure after a round or two you’ll say otherwise! I will buy the first round!”

With a bruised ego he heartily grabbed her forearm.

She patted him on the shoulder and asked, “Have I ever told you the time I punched a BugBear into a pit of sharks?!”



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